Early morning on Christmas Day - such a special day - the love of my life, MY VERY BEST FRIEND and the greatest human I’ve ever met, went to be with Jesus.
Even connected to life support, his heart stopped and they couldn’t do any more. Emery woke up in the middle of the night saying Dada, Dada, Daddy. She never says this...only mama. I know in my heart he came & said goodbye to her and told her how much he loves her.
I prayed for 7 hours... most of that was in a field under the hot sun. God showed me so much. I still believe every single sign and confirmation of my faith was correct. We had so many miracles along the way. It all lines up but not in the way I desperately prayed for. God prepares us in ways we can’t understand. I knew something would happen on Christmas Day.
I thought that if God took Josh from me I couldn’t believe in Him anymore. I was proved wrong. Somehow I know God is still good. It felt powerful to feel so close to God and pray for something so big and impossible. It felt powerful to have so many of you lifting us up in prayer and hope. That’s what Josh was all about. Community. Bringing people together. That was his whole life. Why do I still feel like God can? I don’t know.
But I’m broken and in more pain than I’ve ever felt in my whole life. I didn’t think a person could feel so much pain. Josh lived with pain every single day and he did everything for me and Em (and others) despite his pain. I didn’t know it was possible to love another human as much as I love him (I can’t even say loved... doesn’t feel right) I feel like half a person, that had their other half ripped out of them so suddenly that you still think it’s there moving like normal, but it’s not.
I don’t know how the world even exists without Joshua Wong. How is life still happening around me? He changed my world and made it better every single day. He was so profound yet he never planned a single thing that came out of his mouth... because everything was his truth & his life. I knew him so deeply and it made me love him more and more. He deserved such a special day like Christmas Day.
Please keep us all in your prayers. I’m beyond devastated.
published on Facebook December 27th, 2020
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